"Wherever you are, be all there"

I've hesitated for a long time now to write about the sophomore girl I mentor at Marion High School. I hesitated not because I didn't have anything to say (I definitely do!) but because I felt like trying to put our relationship into one blog post was like trying to fit the new stimulus package onto a 3x5 card. Impossible. Unless you have really small handwriting, which I don't. 

Anyways, to protect her privacy I'll call her Jane in this post. I met Jane through a local program called 21st Century Scholars. 21st Century Scholars is a statewide program where families below a certain income level can enroll their children in 8th grade and if that child graduates high school, keeps a 2.0 or higher GPA, doesn't go to jail, doesn't do drugs, etc., he or she can get free tuition to any Indiana college. That's right, free college. Grant County took the program one step further and matched these kids with local mentors. We meet for one hour every week, and while the program definitely has an academic focus, it's a lot about being a friend, a coach, everything that defines a mentor. Thankfully my work is a partner in this program so I get to hang out with Jane during work time, a pretty sweet deal for me. 

We were paired up randomly when she was a freshman so now we've been doing this for about a year and a half. I hope she's learning things from me, but I can definitely say I've learned a lot from her. We couldn't be more different -- she is one of the most gregarious people I've ever met, literally she could talk to a brick wall and it would probably talk back to her. She comes from a broken family; her parents divorced when she was young. She has two baby stepsisters she feels a huge weight of responsibility for, even though they aren't her responsibility. She lives in a trailer park, is overweight, gets very poor grades, doesn't have a personal love for Jesus, has a very messed up extended family, and yet, she loves so much. One might think she would be bitter at what life has dealt her, but she's not. 

I think one of the things she has taught me the most is how to really love people, no matter their background or anything about them. One time I asked her about the different racial groups in her high school and if that caused division among the students. She gave me a quizzical look and responded that it didn't bother her, she had friends in all different groups, and they all got along. (A side note -- she does attend an urban school where racial issues are an expressed problem) But that didn't matter to Jane. She saw past that someone's race to who that person really was on the inside and that was what mattered to her. And it shows -- she's constantly surrounded by a cloud of friends from all different high school groups.  

We've definitely had our share of ups and downs, a natural part of any relationship really. I've been so frustrated at her for a myriad of reasons and I'm sure she has been with me. But I've seen growth too and these glimpses of the woman she is becoming. Her two new years resolutions were to get her grades up and to lose weight. So we've been working at that -- slowly but surely (and as many of you know, math is NOT my strong suite!) So maybe we should stop doing math because I might actually be leading her astray.... :). But we try. 

Sometimes it's so discouraging to pull up to her high school to pick her up. Looking at the students streaming from the school, (and I recognize I'm judging by looks alone here -- I don't know these kids) but they look so beaten down by life already. Some have children of their own, many don't carry books to do homework, many are trying to find their identities and place in this world. And I know that is often what high school is about, but looking at them all I can't help but wonder what they will become. And it's hard to have hope for so many who are like Jane and have been given the short end of the stick. 

And then every once in awhile in talking with Jane there is this burst of insight I get that reminds me, "yes, this is why I'm investing in this girl -- to help her see what she could become." For example, we had the most precious conversation the other day. She was telling me how a friend came to her that day and said her boyfriend wanted to have a baby with her. This is a sophomore girl, but her boyfriend is apparently older or has dropped out of school, Jane didn't know. Jane said, "I told her, you're way to young to have a baby. How would you ever support it?" To which her friend answered that she works at McDonalds. Jane proceeded to ask her friend about her dreams for the future, college, etc. Did she want to get up in the middle of the night with a baby, go to school the next day, go to work, and try to care for that child? We ended up having a great conversation about the responsibilities that come with having a child and how having one really inhibits dreams Jane and her friends have now in high school. 

In that moment I saw a child talking with a child about having a child, but Jane was able to present her friend with some hard truth in a way that was still kind, but honest. I admire that in her and was so proud of her for standing up for what she believes in, but still loving and caring for her friend. 

I know she has a long road ahead of her to really make it in college, to even finish high school. But I want her to succeed, to prove to the world that she can do it. I want to see her break some of the cycles of negative things in her life and in her family and really have a strong marriage and a family and an education that takes her places. 

Sometimes I ask the Lord why Rob and I are still in Upland, working at jobs that seem so different from what we pictured we would be doing. And then I remember the words of the missionary Jim Elliot, "wherever you are, be all there." And I think of Jane and all the things she has yet to learn and experience and I smile at how good of God to bring such a sweet, funny, compassionate young woman into my life to really teach me more about the heart of God for his people and his world. 

Photo Tag

Apparently this is my week to jump on random Internet bandwagons...first the "25 Random Things About Me" on Facebook and now the "Photo Tag." Take the fourth photo album on your computer, pick the fourth photo, and explain it. 

**Disclaimer: Rob and I have all our photos loaded onto one computer, so the first few albums are all his. This photo comes from a folder entitled, "Airband and Luau" and is dated from before we even met. So I have nothing to do with this photo. 

Apparently some guys on his floor had caught this poor crayfish and as they were messing with it, its claw came off. Like I said, I had nothing to do with this cruelty to animals. 

Hopefully the next Internet fad I join won't result in weird things like this.....

Settlers

We've been pretty busy the past two weeks or so, hence the lack of posts. I have a pet peeve about people who don't update their blogs and here I am being my own pet peeve!

Our pipe did unfreeze without bursting for those of you who were wondering -- praise for that! It was unfrozen by the time we came home from work on Friday so no more need for men down in muddy holes under our house. Whew.

The one thing that has been keeping us busy the most is Settlers of Catan. Now, for you who know what Settlers is, I don't need to explain what a great board game it is. You already know that. But for those of you who have never experienced the joys and defeats of Settlers, well, better get on the bandwagon. Settlers was introduced in my extended family years ago (well before the craze) and I introduced it to Rob when we started dating. We love to play and were very glad to find other friends in our community who play (ask me about the two, 6 player expansion boards with 10 people playing) but the thing about Settlers is you always need to have more than two people to play.

Until now that is. Rob and I found a version of Settlers made just for two people in a card game form. We are totally and completely hooked. We have played almost every night we've been home for the past two weeks, sometimes multiple games. We also have a running score sheet on our fridge which is only a slight source of irritation (tongue in cheek there) for me because Rob is consistently beating me by two or three games......arrgh........but it definitely keeps things competitive. Neither of us are very competitive people by nature, but with this game, it all comes out. Did I mention that on Wednesday night I came within one game of tying him (note I was ahead and had a winning point in my hand) when he swooped in, stole one of my resources (it's part of the game don't worry) and won? Let's just say I stomped around grouchily for a few minutes. But then we always kiss and make up so that helps. :)

The winter has been long and cold already, but this game makes me appreciate those long winter nights spent playing a game with my husband. It really has brought us closer because we're doing something we both enjoy together, definitely we know, a crucial part of a strong marriage. I'll confess, we're a bit weird and creatures of habit -- we always sit in the same chair at the kitchen table, play with the same color cards every time, each eat one York Peppermit Patty during the game, Rob does his funny accents and turns almost everything into a song while I laugh at him -- but it's us I guess and it's fun. And it's free for us to play! We've definitely gotten our money's worth so far.

I can't help but wonder how real settlers in Medieval times spent winter nights. I bet they never thought that in many future years someone would be passing a winter evening playing a board game based on their lives....

Seriously...? Frozen pipes again?

The current temperature in Upland Indiana is -5.8 degrees. (On the same cold note Lauren, my sister-in-law, is here eating ice cream. The true sign of an ice cream fanatic for sure.)

I suppose extreme temps like this can only mean one thing in our household -- frozen pipes again....although this time it's just our hot shower pipe. We have hot and cold water coming out of all our other faucets. 

So, it seems like we're saying, "here we go again!" I'm asking for your prayers -- not so much for us -- we can deal without hot water, but really for our landlords who are missionaries and don't have much money to pay for another round with the plumber. They've already asked their supporting church to help pay for the first time. This is not what they want to be dealing with. 

On another much more happy note I'm really excited that our friends Chrissie and Kirk had their baby today! Elijah Philip Duncan came into the world around 4:30 today at 8 lbs. 6 oz. Both mom and baby are doing great. I told Rob seeing him might make me want my own little one..... :) 

Joining the "Food Cult"

Disclaimer: It's not really a cult. That's a made-up name Rob gave this book I just read because as he said, "it's funny to see you get so into something like this book." Apparently that energy translates "food cult." 

Let me explain. Back in the 7th grade or so I read a novel, The Bean Trees, the first novel of author Barbara Kingsolver. Since then I've read most of her other novels and have followed her book releases sporadically. So when I saw she had a book called Animal, Vegetable, Miracle about her family's decision to eat their own, local food for one year, I asked and received it for Christmas. 

Basically this book makes you want to go out and plow your own field, grow your own tomatoes (and lots of other stuff), make you own food from scratch, raise your own chickens, go to Italy, and SO much more. It's the stuff of romance I'm sure -- nights out under the stars, dates to the farmer's market, lots of cooking and canning over hot summer stoves, even pulling weeds seems romantic in this book. 

As my father would call it, it's one of those "back to nature" books. And frankly it is. I don't think Kingsolver is a believer so I would definitely take issue with some of her discussions of where plants came from in the first place, but otherwise what she talks about makes so much sense. Soapbox alert: we are killing ourselves and future generations with the food we eat if it's highly processed (don't even get me started on high fructose corn syrup) and genetically engineered and full of chemicals put there by huge companies out to make a buck off farmers. Also, have you thought recently about where your food comes from? Do citrus fruits grow naturally in January where you live? If not, think about how much it took to get them to your grocery store. (I write this while having clementines from Spain in my fridge so I'm just as guilty as the next person, but I'm thinking of all this as a gradual process of changing my mindset about food, so we'll take it slow here.) 

This book is chock full of reasons supporting diversity of crops, good stewardship of the land, non-use of pesticides, etc., etc. Like I said, the evidence she gives will seriously make you want to go out and plant your own food and make it into some of the delicious dinners she describes in her book. 

Reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle made me want to live more simply and enjoy what is at my disposal, in season around me. It made me want to use my body to cultivate a piece of land and celebrate something blooming and growing on it. It made me want to work harder and spend a little more to support local farmers around me (hello, I live in Indiana afterall), and finally it made me want to have a really big freezer so I could "put up" lots of food like the Kingsolver family does. 

Obviously at this stage of life Rob and I can't do that. Kingsolver even admitted to her own "just working professional life of eating rice and beans." Amen and that sounds familiar. But I think this book has started planting seeds (ha, pun intended there!) of a different kind of life that perhaps our culture and the big food giants push at us. It means to me being involved in farms like Victory Acres and making smart choices about the food we buy. I understand of course this isn't the life for everyone and it takes a lot of work to make meals from "whole" foods. However, if we really do our homework and realize that by buying whole ingredients instead of processed foods we actually save money, well, sign me up. 

There's a lot more I could say about this book, but I'll stop here. I don't want to be accused of joining up with some crazy "food cult." Or maybe I do? Maybe I like the sound of that. :) 

For more, check out www.animalvegetablemiracle.com or you're welcome to borrow my copy of the book and read it yourself.  

A cool story

Thought you might enjoy this story of how some people made others feel really valued. 

http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3789373

Frozen Pipes & Christmas: An Update

I'm sure you've all been on pins and needles waiting to hear how our pipes situation turned out. (ok, maybe not, but I like to think that you were. Actually you were probably more glad it didn't happen to you!) You'll be glad to know we came home on Thursday evening to pure, clean, running water! I've never been so glad in my life to see running water. 

Apparently the whole repair part was quite an ordeal while we were gone, so while I felt bad we just up and left to go to PA on Christmas Eve day, I was really glad not to be here while they fixed everything. After I blogged last they discovered they could not go far enough in the crawl space hole to actually reach the bust pipe. On to Plan B. Which was, dig a hole through the outer wall of our house and come up under the bath tub to get to the pipe. Rob and John tried that way long enough to discover you can't exactly dig through a concrete wall. Out with that plan. Plan C they were discussing when we left was to rip out the entire bathroom floor and go in that way. I know they didn't go with that way because our floor is still intact. Plan D eventually won out -- cut a hole under the dryer and go up under the tub that way. Whew. That must have worked because the water came back on. 

When Rob and I came home Thursday night we walked into the kitchen and found this: the culprit pipe. To think, that little split is what gave us such a headache. How nice it was of our plumber to leave us that little gift! 

He also left us the gift of lots of dirt, which we are still finding. Dirt in the bathtub, coating the toilet, on the bathroom walls, covering the kitchen floor, in the sink, on the dishes, in the carpet, even inside the washing machine! I have no idea how it go there. Thankfully we had lots of water to clean it up with. :) 

Overall we had a great Christmas in PA and I was actually really glad we could go on Christmas Eve and be with my parents and Luke on Christmas day. We missed Ben in Argentina of course, but he sent us some great gifts so that was fun. It's so nice to go to PA and be pampered by my mom. She's the best at pampering. She completely redid my childhood bedroom so that was great for Rob and I. Slightly strange to sleep with my husband in the room of my childhood, but good too. 

We spent a few days up at my cousin's cabin in central PA. Lots and lots of family so we hiked, played tons of games, and even pulled taffy, a family tradition. Very labor intensive, but makes the best taffy! 

My parents pulling -- they are pros! 

My cousin Allison and I trying our hand. Once you get the rhythm down it's easy and fun to pull

Ta-da! Our finished product waiting to be cut and wrapped. 

Some of the family hiking (notice master hiker Marco with his yellow boots and walking stick. What a pro!) 

We're master hikers too. :) 

Now it's 2009 and I'm ready for life to get back to normal I think. I guess we'll always remember how our 2008 went out with a bang....er....a burst rather. Happy new year!