Anyways, to protect her privacy I'll call her Jane in this post. I met Jane through a local program called 21st Century Scholars. 21st Century Scholars is a statewide program where families below a certain income level can enroll their children in 8th grade and if that child graduates high school, keeps a 2.0 or higher GPA, doesn't go to jail, doesn't do drugs, etc., he or she can get free tuition to any Indiana college. That's right, free college. Grant County took the program one step further and matched these kids with local mentors. We meet for one hour every week, and while the program definitely has an academic focus, it's a lot about being a friend, a coach, everything that defines a mentor. Thankfully my work is a partner in this program so I get to hang out with Jane during work time, a pretty sweet deal for me.
We were paired up randomly when she was a freshman so now we've been doing this for about a year and a half. I hope she's learning things from me, but I can definitely say I've learned a lot from her. We couldn't be more different -- she is one of the most gregarious people I've ever met, literally she could talk to a brick wall and it would probably talk back to her. She comes from a broken family; her parents divorced when she was young. She has two baby stepsisters she feels a huge weight of responsibility for, even though they aren't her responsibility. She lives in a trailer park, is overweight, gets very poor grades, doesn't have a personal love for Jesus, has a very messed up extended family, and yet, she loves so much. One might think she would be bitter at what life has dealt her, but she's not.
I think one of the things she has taught me the most is how to really love people, no matter their background or anything about them. One time I asked her about the different racial groups in her high school and if that caused division among the students. She gave me a quizzical look and responded that it didn't bother her, she had friends in all different groups, and they all got along. (A side note -- she does attend an urban school where racial issues are an expressed problem) But that didn't matter to Jane. She saw past that someone's race to who that person really was on the inside and that was what mattered to her. And it shows -- she's constantly surrounded by a cloud of friends from all different high school groups.
We've definitely had our share of ups and downs, a natural part of any relationship really. I've been so frustrated at her for a myriad of reasons and I'm sure she has been with me. But I've seen growth too and these glimpses of the woman she is becoming. Her two new years resolutions were to get her grades up and to lose weight. So we've been working at that -- slowly but surely (and as many of you know, math is NOT my strong suite!) So maybe we should stop doing math because I might actually be leading her astray.... :). But we try.
Sometimes it's so discouraging to pull up to her high school to pick her up. Looking at the students streaming from the school, (and I recognize I'm judging by looks alone here -- I don't know these kids) but they look so beaten down by life already. Some have children of their own, many don't carry books to do homework, many are trying to find their identities and place in this world. And I know that is often what high school is about, but looking at them all I can't help but wonder what they will become. And it's hard to have hope for so many who are like Jane and have been given the short end of the stick.
And then every once in awhile in talking with Jane there is this burst of insight I get that reminds me, "yes, this is why I'm investing in this girl -- to help her see what she could become." For example, we had the most precious conversation the other day. She was telling me how a friend came to her that day and said her boyfriend wanted to have a baby with her. This is a sophomore girl, but her boyfriend is apparently older or has dropped out of school, Jane didn't know. Jane said, "I told her, you're way to young to have a baby. How would you ever support it?" To which her friend answered that she works at McDonalds. Jane proceeded to ask her friend about her dreams for the future, college, etc. Did she want to get up in the middle of the night with a baby, go to school the next day, go to work, and try to care for that child? We ended up having a great conversation about the responsibilities that come with having a child and how having one really inhibits dreams Jane and her friends have now in high school.
In that moment I saw a child talking with a child about having a child, but Jane was able to present her friend with some hard truth in a way that was still kind, but honest. I admire that in her and was so proud of her for standing up for what she believes in, but still loving and caring for her friend.
I know she has a long road ahead of her to really make it in college, to even finish high school. But I want her to succeed, to prove to the world that she can do it. I want to see her break some of the cycles of negative things in her life and in her family and really have a strong marriage and a family and an education that takes her places.
Sometimes I ask the Lord why Rob and I are still in Upland, working at jobs that seem so different from what we pictured we would be doing. And then I remember the words of the missionary Jim Elliot, "wherever you are, be all there." And I think of Jane and all the things she has yet to learn and experience and I smile at how good of God to bring such a sweet, funny, compassionate young woman into my life to really teach me more about the heart of God for his people and his world.
