It's amazing how quickly time goes. It's been over a month since I last blogged and while I know there aren't many people who are avid readers of my blog, for those of you who are, welcome to the main event.
Marriage. There it is in black and white.
Wow, I don't even know where to begin. What an amazing time of celebration! June 29th almost feels like a dream, and yet there are certain memories that are sharp in my mind. Putting on my gorgeous dress for the first time, praying with my bridesmaids before the wedding, coming down the aisle with my dad to Rob and his tear streaked face, the deep spirituality of our wedding ceremony (with just a dash of Kate and Rob quirkyness thrown in :), dancing at the reception, seeing so many people I hadn't seen in a long time, my dad telling me while we were dancing how the storm turned, stopping to look at our gorgeous tent glowing at the end of the evening, and so much more. Feeling the overwhelming love of all those people and my overwhelming love for Rob, my husband.
It's true what people say -- that you experience such a wide range of emotions on your wedding day. I know I did anyway. And how can you not? It's a million things wrapped into one day and there is no possible way to ever describe what you're feeling every moment. For me, my wedding day was a culmination of many, many dreams. Dreams I've held since childhood. Dreams of coming down the aisle to my husband in a beautiful, pure white dress. Dreams of a perfect summer evening. Dreams of all those people there for us. Dreams of knowing my husband intimately for the first time. Beautiful dreams that did come true.
Reality has kicked in again now that we've been home for two weeks or so. Reality of jobs and bills and friends and hot summer days in our non-air conditioned house. Reality of this is what I signed up for and wanted. And I do want it. I love my husband and my marriage and am so happy to be home with him.
(Home -- there's a topic for a different post -- a place I've longed for for many months now has finally become my reality and I love it)
It's funny though to be on the other side of the wedding day. Gratefully, Rob and I did spend a lot of time during our engagement preparing for marriage and not just our wedding day. The wedding day is just that, a day, this marriage is for a lifetime. A lifetime of sharing a bed and a bathroom. A lifetime of doing dishes and making meals and having conflict and debt and all that sort of stuff. And I am so glad we talked through things as much as we did. It has made the coming together much easier.
It surprises me sometimes how normal this all seems. Like we've been married for a long time. And then non-normal-something-different-than-when-we-were-not-married things will sneak in and I'll say, "oh, this is so much better now that we're married!" For example, we were out with friends at a baseball game very late last weekend, but it was such a delight to drive home and go to bed together and not have to say goodbye.
That's not to say it's not an adjustment, because it certainly is. I feel overwhelmed a bit by all the "normal" stuff that needs to get done and how little time there seems to be to do it. We're still working on finding the balance of personal time and time together and how me, the introvert of the pair, can recharge myself and find time alone.
I'm not worried -- I know those things will work themselves out in time. The wonderful thing is that I know I've married a man who understands many things about me, sometimes even more than I understand about myself, and who desires to serve and care for me so deeply and genuinely. He is a gift to me and I see him as such. I don't deserve to have him, but I do, and if that's something to be overwhelmed by, well then, I'm overwhelmed.
So anyway, I'm sure I'll keep you posted along this journey. It's a good journey and I'm so glad for all the parts of it.
Here's a few more pics if you weren't there, plus some from our honeymoon in St. John, US Virgin Islands. Amazing. You should all go there for sure.
I also tried my hand at planting some seeds and was pleasantly surprised when my morning glories came up, twining themselves around the little arbor we have out front. Every morning I step out my front door to see how they are blooming. By the time we come home from work they are shriveled and hiding back inside themselves away from the heat of the day. They truly bear their name well.
